To you, you, you..

To you, my first ever crush, whose long blonde hair and tight grasp stops me from crying all throughout Kindergarten, I see you now have a girlfriend and I don’t.

To you, who I think I will still have a crush on if we see each other, I remember how your grandma only trusts me in our circle of grade school friends.

To you, who I don’t even want to consider my first, come on we were on the sixth grade, funny, no?

To you, who taught me that losing the person you like is much scarier than their parents, it’s been a long time.

To you, who I owe the knowledge of what love is not; that puppy love is almost as cute as the real thing, you’re the most beautiful.

 To you, who I’ve been classmates with all throughout high school, you were easily my ultimate crush when anybody asks.

To you, one of my best friends, I’m glad I chickened out. It wouldn’t have been worth it, you are, and will always be a sister to me.

To you, who I’m not sure about what we shared, I think ours would’ve worked out.

To you, who let me tried saving you, you taught me that I shouldn’t have tried saving, I should’ve been drowning with you; that love does not long to change, it accepts. I became a hero for the duration of your broken leg.

To you, who were ‘The First’, we meet again. I finally told you, after our classmate-hood survived four shuffling, and re-shuffling of high school sections. Don’t you think it would’ve worked out better if it started in high school, not college? Well, it doesn’t matter now, you are happy. You were the First. I loved you.

To you, who I would fall in line for in another life, God, you’re dreamy. I don’t think even a prince deserves you. Now you just have to realize this.

To all of you, I thank you. We didn’t work out for a reason, and I’m not even sorry because you all led me to you…

To You, wouldn’t it be nice to go for a long, long walk?

                No, you’re not fat

                Yes, I’d listen to you sing all day

                Yes, you fell asleep.. you've been sleeping for two hou.. oh okay, go sleep again

                Sure, put more cheese than tomato sauce in the spaghetti

                Okay, for you I’d sit in mall chairs as you fit clothes just to be with you

                No, I did not hang up. It was the twelve-minute phone call limit

                Yes, I’ll wait for you to get home so we could sleep at the same time

                Thanks, for doing the same when I’m the one who’s out

                No, I don’t get jealous! Not always

                Sorry, I don’t feel ‘kilig’. I’m sure there are countless of times when I would’ve if I do

                No, I did not wait that long

                Yes, don't worry the rat went out of the room already, get off the bed

                No, you're not yet full, two more plates of rice                

                Right, we don’t know what the future’s got in store for us

                But maybe, just maybe, it wouldn’t hurt to wish for everyday with you

                Yes, I love you, I have been loving you, I will always love you

                

For all the working mothers

So we were asked to send a message in a bottle in the form of haiku or a poem, so I made a haiku-poem! I send this message in a bottle to the sea, the Internet, for my mom and to all the working mothers. Her enduring of the pains of life never, even for a second, escape my notice. I love you, ma. 

Endure sleepless nights

To no end she hopes and fails

Only gold in sight

How with crumbling might

She survives to ease their wails

Barely holding tight

Pray she sleeps tonight

And the angel in her hails

Resting from this fight

Is it time for flight

Freedom from these cyclic jails

Hear this woman’s plight

I Don't Even Care Even If I Didn't Get A Proper Vacation

If you are an Atenean, you probably know by now that Summer Classes are part of the curriculum of some courses offered in our university. Unfortunately the course I'm currently taking up, MIS, is one of those. I don't know why they have to make us suffer like this #drama. I'm trying to be a man for others. I see light in the Lord. Is it because I'm not practicing magis? Why do I have to be deprived of the privilege to feel the sand in my skin and later on have a hard time removing them, tangled in my hair, as I try to wash them off? Bah, kidding. I'd rather have my curriculum this way instead of graduating one or two years later if I'd prioritize my vacation. Besides, would I even get the chance to sign up for TNT had it not been for my attending my summer classes during my first year in Ateneo? 


Non-Ateneans would probably be wondering why would I even sign up for TNT. No, nerd, I'm not referring to Trinitrotoluene. But see, like that kind of TNT, we too are explosive. For one to fully understand that, he or she must be a fellow TNT, a freshman, or basically someone who sees us in action. 


TNT stands for the Talks and Tours committee of Ateneo's Orientation Seminar held once a year for the freshmen to formally welcome them into the college life. Yes, hanep sa introduction. As the name implies, introducing buildings, facilities, trivias, and other functions to the freshies is part of the job. That's the Tours part there, so what about the Talks? Well, think more like CNT; Craziness and Tours. 

What defines TNTs and sets us apart from the other committees is our excuse, right, and privilege to let it all out. No exaggeration here when I say ALL OUT. For the three days of OrSem, we find ourselves, our being, completely irrelevant. It is not about us. It is not for us. OrSem is for the freshmen, it is for our children. We become parents for three days, if not forever, to the block we're handling. Our only aim is for them to feel the joy, the energy, the enthusiasm. For them to actually have something to look forward to in embracing a new chapter in their lives as they enter the tough life of a college student. We dance even if our legs are about to fucking fall off. We sing till our throats run dry, shout even if we already sound like the breeze, and barely. We smile until our cheeks develop abs, or at least until someone from DnP notices us. And despite feeling what would seem like the sensation of running out of anything else to give, we see our family, a fellow TnT on top of that monoblock chair doing just all those. Yes, we get consumed along the process, but we never get drained. We have each other to draw strength and energy from. There is nothing more selfless than being part of this experience, and it feels so damn good.

As we leave our blocks, our children, we welcome each other with open arms and with faces where evidence of the confusion brought about by the mixed emotions of happiness, sadness, and triumph is showing. In the end, we celebrate with sweat, tears of joy, and smile. Knowing that we gave it our all, is reason enough to think deep within ourselves that we did a job well done. A job worthy for three cheers.

Best fucking person in the world, my partner, Quinto 'Quintits' Lutero.

You know, there is actually a reason why we all keep coming back to do this. No, not the three OrSem shirts. Possibly but improbably, the smell of TNTs after each OrSem day, if you know what I mean. If you still don't get the reason why this thing is something you'd definitely come back for after what I've written here, then I must be way worse a writer than what I originally thought. Well pweds din if you are what we call the letter T. 

What we call the TNTs are people who started with just plain volunteerism, that eventually evolves into an ultimate passion.

TNT STRONG. TNT WALANG JUDGING. TNT FAMILEH. 

Too lazy to proofread sorry! :))

If Math Has Something To Do With Numerology, I'm Shifting Course

http://www.paulsadowski.com/NameData.asp -- In this link is my reference for this whole blog post. Since you all know I'm vain, I'm sure you won't be surprised when I tell you that this one post will be leaning more on a rather beautiful aspect of the world, ME. Before you narcissists object and stop reading this, I'm just kidding okay! Don't worry you're almost as cool as me. Okay, going back! Well, I've always been a fan of destiny, fate, and all that cheesy crap and I think it's somehow related how I also believe in Personality Tests, be it through horoscopes, or simple psychological tests. Bottom line is, I think there really is a certain way for people to determine another's personality without being able to interact with that certain other firsthand. Wow, I think that's a geeky way of saying being judgmental, but whatever.

My interest was caught by this Numerology test which only needs the number of letters in your name to determine your personality. Yes, this application is so judgmental it should be in the Supreme Court. Imagine introducing your name to the creator of this application and consider yourself instantly judged, like you're standing there before his eyes, slowly being ripped of your darkest secrets, naked.

Who care's about this test, you say? I do. Mine's pretty accurate. I dare you to try it! Besides, it doesn't simply give you bullshit every time you try for a new one, it gives you the same result for the same spelling for your name. I'm not sure though if you are to put your complete, complete name with first name, middle name, and surname, but you can try for yourself. I did it with and without my middle name.

More than anything, it gave me the meaning of my name; warning, deep shit coming. My name means Red. It's so deep it can drown an ant.

Seriously now, the key personalities that this application made me realize that was very much like me, were all in the first long paragraph. First, it says that  I have a way of finding out the truth. I seriously do, and I hope you never lie to me, because I know when you lie. Being good at lying myself, I just know it.

Second, I have spiritual inclination. I've been very faithful since I was a kid, and I've been very devoted to my God, more before than now unfortunately. What creeps me out is the "psychic explorations" part. I'm afraid of ghosts okay? Well anyways, if I haven't told you yet, I dream a lot about the future before. I dreamt of my high school classmates when I was in grade school at a different school and things like that. I also heal my own sore throat before just by touching my tonsils. I know it's creepy, don't judge me!

Third, it says that I operate on a different wavelength. Not sure if it's telling me I'm nuts or what, but I think it makes sense. I don't think like most people because I prefer not to. There's no reason why but maybe because I think being mainstream is too mainstream #Whaaat?. In relation to this is the fourth one, my tendency to be too rational. My way of thinking is always leaning towards what's more beneficial to us all. Sometimes, unfortunately, as this app tells us, I lack emotion as a consequence. I laugh a lot, but rare are the ones which I really feel #slashwrist.

Fifth, I'm not sure because it says I have excellent studying capabilities. FRAUD! I almost junked this whole belief on this application, but you cannot overthrow all the goods for just one fault right? I'm kind of hoping this is true though, anyways I've been really studious as a kid. Below a grade of 90 is my grounding call. Wonder where that is now?

Sixth, it says that I have trust issues. I'm not sure about this one because I trust a lot of people. Maybe it's because I'm surrounded with people who really are trust worthy. I love my friends you know? Also as a weak point, it says that I have the tendency to be overly introverted. This is 100 per cent true. I'd give everything for a day at home, even without internet as long as I have my bookshelf. I also don't enjoy parties.

Seventh, it says that word skills are my thing. Someone told me that, but I'm not sure. It's embarrassing to admit, but yeah, it's somewhat what I truly want to be, become an actor. I want to do Theater Arts, sing, act, and all those shit, after I graduate from this course. I don't know why I'm saying this here, it's embarrassing.

Lastly, another fault I have is that I'm too much of an optimist. Lax is my enemy! The reason why I don't believe when it said that I have a thing for studies is because I have very little regards for education. I'm too secured about my future that I tend to think that regardless of the results I get from studying here in Ateneo, something is already waiting for me out there. I know this is wrong, and I'm currently working on removing this negative attitude. But you know, my optimism is what I like best about myself. Nothing can really bring me down. I will bet my winning lottery ticket, after I get one, that I probably have a worse life than you, but you're still sadder than me.

If you look at this closely, my personalities don't really go together; my spirituality and rationality, my being an introvert and my secret passion for acting which will involve crowds and hopefully large audiences, my studying and my not studying. Despite that, here I am telling you that this is all me. I am both one thing and it's opposite. I'm weird, but I'm me.

If I'm really studious then why am I doing this blog instead of my final reflection paper in English, huh Numerology Test, huh?!

Note: Felt lazy to check on my grammar.

If A Zombie Apocalypse Would Come, I'd Be Carrying A Hammer

Well you read the title. As a kid, I've collected monthly issues and issues of the K-zone magazines and I've always been fond of the "Which shit are you.." tests. Where shit is a variable of just about anything, but the popular ones are of which job is more suited for you, mainly with reference to Ragnarok jobs or any other online game. Seriously, there can't be tests which will determine what kind of shit you are. I don't even think there's a variety of it. But if such a test exist, I call dibs on being THE shit. And if there is a test on which weapon is best suited for your personality, I hope mine's a hammer.

To tell you why I wanted a hammer to be my weapon would be pretty hard because I haven't really thought about it either. I mean, there's an Apocalypse for heaven's sake and we realistically would not be choosy now would we? I'd still continue this post however, so lets just imagine that the Apocalypse would be the theme of an online game which is our world #FeelingInception #EwHashtagsAgain. In fact, since I'm still a fan of choosing jobs, let's choose our job. For those who are not familiar with classic online game jobs, we have the Warrior who normally deals the physical damage, the Tank who takes all the damage, the Mage who does the magical (You don't say?) damage and is usually first to die, the Healer who kills his party members, the Thief who actually I'd rather name as Assassin because zombies aren't supposed to have anything worth stealing, anyways Thieves are the agile, stealthy guys, and lastly the Hunters who uses long range attacks. Now, imagine this with me. 

I prefer and will choose to play as the Healer. For starters, I feel really needed; healers are usually sought after. Also, I just find it really cool, the idea that the weak, gentle, lifesaving priest can also be a strong, life-taking killer. Being what others think I'm not or not being what others think I am, that's very much like me. Besides, the Undead are supposed to bow down to my divine holy spells. 

As for the Hammer, it's probably because it's non cliche. People would usually choose something easily lethal like a sword, blade, or whatever. People who are very realistic would just say a gun. But my hammer is not just a carpentry hammer, mind you, imagine Thor's, that's my kind of hammer. Choosing a hammer, I guess would be pretty fun.  There's the thrill of not being able to whack that zombie hard enough and I still get bitten as I walk away. The coolness as I imagine it hanging in my back. Okay whatever, I can't really justify having a hammer and I'd probably die first in this Apocalypse, like it's even real! Get a life! 

Seriously now though, although I think that I'm capable of defending a life for a life, I still think of myself as gentle in general. The blades, the bullets just send me the murderous intent vibes. Also, I love challenges. It would most definitely be hard surviving with a hammer, but I'd be ready to whack the ooze out of those green heads, and I'd be training! If I get to kill zombies, I know it wasn't because of the sharp edges or the penetrating trajectory, it was because I whacked it hard, because of my strength. Something I worked hard for.

Or I could have killed the mob with the Earthquake I caused after hitting the ground with Cheesecake.What, why would I name my hammer, Cheesecake, pschh. -_-.

Which job are you, and what weapon will you yield? Yeah yield.

How to Incinerate Stuff Without Using Fire

I'm not really sure, but I know someone who does. This is gonna be a really bitter post.

I was seriously burnt to a crisp a few hours ago. If it was with fire, I would say probably a 3rd-degree burn, but since it wasn't, the 10th-degree is more like it. We had to do our Theology reporting in class today for my Dr. Professor, who is insanely intelligent about this field and really knows what he's talking about. He burnt me. Alive. You know how your friends would all shout in chorus "BUUUUURN" when you are left speechless by a comeback of another friend? That's how I was burnt.

So we were supposed to discuss in class whether Homosexual Marriage should be allowed by the church or by state, and by people in general (just FYI my group mates and I are all supporting this). I must admit that we weren't prepared. In fact, all the research we did was from the internet only, plus we are all still posting our "research" the night before. I knew deep down that it will be hard, and that I was expecting corrections to be made by my prof regarding our presentation. What caught me off guard, however, was his SHOUTING, unfortunately, only to me. Never have I ever felt so singled out and alone than today.

I'd like to convince myself that this misfortune that befell me is due to bad luck. I wasn't the one who researched the points I was shouted at for. Nor was I the one who did the presentation which lacked reliable, and known to be existing sources. But for some reason, I just had to be the one to have reported those parts of the presentation. I agree with him with the need for the sources, but I was helpless. I couldn't do anything about it. I didn't know. 


It was also a misfortune, I think, that my Professor's intelligence far surpasses an average human's. The problem with having to deal with immense intellect, knowledge, smartness, whatnot, is the fact that you will never be good enough. Usually, it is a good thing for a teacher to be immensely knowledgeable, but right now, I beg to differ. It's just so hard to compete, to debate, and to differ. It's like my opinion doesn't even matter. It's like everything you do is wrong. Like your only option is to surrender and accept the fact that even though we have our own rights to have our own beliefs, his are the right ones. The problem is still being expected to meet up to the standards.


As I was being shouted at, all my ego is draining out of me. If ego is fats, I would be bones now, I swear. There are still some of his lines that are left ringing in my head. Do you understand why I'm so frustrated? And I, the person who doesn't even get mad, says yes, I understand, I'm sorry. Probably only because it's the only right thing to say, or probably because there really isn't anything I can say which will not be refuted in the end. I do not understand why, honestly. I would understand it if you give us a crappy grade for our crappy presentation, if that's what you find our work to be like. But no, he is just very expressive. As for the quality of our work, I'm sorry for my group, but I also think that everything could've been a lot better. I could've presented my points a lot better had I not been shouted at. Seriously, all the shit I memorized, gone.

I'm not trying to make you feel bad. Imagine what more if he is actually trying to make me feel bad. He killed a little something inside of me. Alfons even said I was shaking.

This is grade school grammar. This one I actually wrote, but I did not intend it to be part of the presentation. I did not give much thought about that point, and was only able to edit around 5 words of it before presenting. Duh, that's why I had to take basic English HAHA:)). Anyway, it's not like I take pride in my English speaking skills to begin with, so I wasn't really hurt by this.

Above all of what my Prof said, I was more hurt with the realizations I had right after it. First, I already stated earlier, I was the only one he shouted at. Second, the points which had me to be his target wasn't even mine. Third, my group mate, I do not know which one, who did that certain research did not even "back me up, nobody did" (Pun intended with the emphases). Fourth, the stuff that I actually was the one who researched were okay for him. Lastly, having the feeling that I cannot blame anybody in the end. I was lazy, okay? I wouldn't ever do that PowerPoint presentation for the group, even if you asked me to. I never would have compiled all the researches, even. I was the only one to blame with this bad luck. Even if I convince myself that it wouldn't have turned out this way had I only felt productive enough to take note of the sources, it doesn't matter because I didn't, I was lazy, I didn't really care.

I am bitter, I told you. And I am sorry for using my blogging to vent all of this out. Hopefully, I can write something soon enough that would make us all smile, and hopefully even laugh. What's actually keeping me a bit cooler now is the thought that maybe some of my other group mates might not have been as calm as me during the session. I was glad it was me, who doesn't give a shit about life, who was put into hot seat.

My tips to the next people to report, specially my blockmates:

1. Do not put a lot of words in your slides. I was shocked to discover that there are a lot of things I wrote and said in there but did not actually mean. I suggest you only put really important words or key figures and just make note cards for yourselves and make up to it by speaking your points.
2. Cite your sources.
3. Do not be me. I still feel that he has something against me HAHAHA
4. Take it seriously
5. For your Theological references, use only sources from the CCC, the Pope, and the bible.
6. Be prepared to be shouted at.

No proofreading, too lazy B-) Just excuse my grade school grammar :(

Because I Secretly Hope You're All Interested: 100 Stuff About Me

I'm gonna do this because first, a lot of people are doing it now and I was just influenced. Second, I think it's challenging because 100 is a lot. Third, I just really wanna reflect on how I see myself. Besides, we're about to have our reflection papers done in my En12 class so this ought to help. Here goes, don't hate me!

1. My birthday is on the Valentine's Day <3. I used to argue that this is unfair because I won't be able to go on a date with my supposedly, allegedly, imaginary girlfriend since my parents would want to celebrate my birthday with me. Wow I just extremely emphasized the fact that I'm loveless.

2. I watch a lot of Filipino Drama-Romantic movies. Goodbye manliness. Hey, when I do, it's not always because I want to. My mom and I date a lot before and you won't get her to watch movies like Underworld now. I remember how when the movie is done and we have to go out of the movie house, I try really hard to act uninterested and bored and feel like vomiting the movie. You can't blame me people, Filipino teens hate local movies. Add to that the fact that they're romantic dramas :(

3. The first movie I remember to have watched in a movie house is Dinosaur, year 2000 I think. I'm almost certain I watched movies before this one but this is as far as my memory can go. I was with my father and my sister. This is the only time I watched a movie with my dad, I swear. Also, my sister wasn't able to sleep that night because of the asteroid drama. It hasn't occurred to her yet that she only looks like a dino but really isn't one. Love you, Ate!

4. My dream job is to be a theater actor. I never really tell people, but I love acting. I'm good at lying by the way. Not something to be proud of, but it's the truth. I don't lie a lot though, but when I do, you'll never know.

5. I also want to be a ninja.  Seriously I'd enroll in a ninja school.

6. I also want to be a date scammer. Well, people now call it "user" or "user friendly". Basically a date scammer is someone who gets around people and dates them for the moolah $_$. This is very easy for me because I hardly get emotionally attached. Yeah, feeling ko talaga may papatol sakin na mayayaman hahahaha.

7. I love my dogs more than some of my relatives.

8. I'm vain. The problem though is people don't view vanity the same way as I view it. People often misunderstand (or is it me who just has the wrong definition of vanity) vanity and instead defines it as narcissism. I'm not in love with myself, actually it's the other way around. I have a lot of insecurities physically that's why I feel the need to constantly check myself out in the mirror.

9. I practice random stuff. I practiced how I'm supposed to raise my hand, walk, smile, do facial expressions. Stuff that doesn't matter.

10. I'm attracted to girls who are my opposite.

11. I would describe myself as the typical Good Guy Greg. Yeah, after I told you how I wanted to be a date scammer.

12. I am suplado by default because I hate crowds. I prefer not to be approached, but if you do approach me we could be really close friends. In other words, I love my friends but I could honestly do with having just really few ones or even none at all. I think I'd be fine being an island although I don't want that.

13. I save drowning ants. For some reason, there are a lot of ants in my bathroom and they drown there. I save them.

14. I wanna be an animal rights activist. Don't even dare hurt animals in front of me on purpose or for no reason at all.

15. I don't think I'm afraid to be able to kill. I'm well aware that if danger comes and I have to protect people I love, family and friends, I'm ready to grab a weapon if it comes to that. Beware Animal Crueltors. #crueltors.

16. I'm not scared of the idea of death. I know it's sad and all that, but I never see finish lines as something to feel scared about. Having run a race, life, I have been well aware that it will soon end, and so I never end a day with regrets.

17. I'm a really faithful guy. I acknowledge God. I trust God. I am nothing without God. I used to be a sakristan. I'm no longer Catholic.

18. I dream about the future. There are times when I dream stuff that are supposed to happen in the future. I dream them in first person point of view. Unfortunately they are irrelevant stuff like me pouring soda in my cup, or me looking at the cabinet =)). The most amazing dream I've had is when I dreamed of my high school classmates during my grade school year. I only remember having dreamed of that dream when it is already happening.

19. I have a tattoo and is looking forward to having a few more.

20. My music taste is inclined to a singer or vocalist's voice rather than their genre. I love Daughtry, Nickelback, David Cook, Lifehouse, and other performers who sound like them. They sound alike don't they, or is it just me?

21. I love mangoes! Ripe mangoes, never the sour, green ones.

22. My favorite veggie is Okra. I can eat them raw but I prefer them steamed and dip them in soy sauce with calamansi. What's calamansi in english?

23. My favorite cartoon character is probably Killua from Hunter X Hunter. Just cause he's cool and badass. He rips out his opponent's heart in a second.

24. I prefer white chocolates over the average ones.

25. The first time I tasted McDo's sundae is during first year high school. I prefer caramel over hot fudge anytime.

26. I love reading novels. I hate non-fictions though. The first book I ever read and bought with my own money was "The Knight's Castle". I forgot who the author was, but it was about his toys living when he sleeps so he arranges them in scenes he wants to take part in before sleeping.

27. I read and loved the Twilight series. Cut my arm off, it's true. I actually read them more than once. Except for New Moon, I hated that second part and only read it once.

28. I sing a lot. More than people prefer me to. I always hear complaints from my dad, stepdad, and sister about my singing very loudly.

29. I am very attached to my yayas. I love them so much that I promised to myself that I will work hard to give them their own house and lot in the future.

30. I have three more siblings from my mother with her first husband. They're in Canada.

31. My favorite relatives are my cousins. Most of my cousins are over 20 years older than my sister and me, we're close nonetheless. Oh I have nieces who are older than me so they never call me Tito and I say Ate to them.

32. I have a special bond with the elderly. They have a soft spot in my heart. I grew up with my Lolly. We used to go to Real, Quezon during summer break to spend time with her. Mind you, there was no TV or aircon there. I don't know how I'd survive three months there now.

33. I'm a fast swimmer. At least I used to be, because I discovered about a few years back that I have skin asthma which causes skin allergies whenever I swim in saltwater or chlorined pool water.

34. I hate spiders. Of all the insects you can throw at me, spiders you should never try. They're really creepy! They are eight times scarier with 8 legs! Cockroaches come a close second.

35. I love the Cathedral Window from Goldilocks. It's Jello-ception, people! Gelatin within a giant blob of gelatin, couldn't get better than that.  I don't know, I don't even find it delicious, it's just fun to eat.

36. I say "I love" a lot sometimes even when there's no heart to it.

37. I've never been in a guy fight. I almost got into one during my first year in high school and I chickened out and ran away :)). I'm looking forward to one now, though. I feel as if life wouldn't be manly enough without at least getting into one.

38. I always wanted piercings in non-cliche areas; tongue, upper part of one ear, eyebrow.

39. I used to weigh around 90kgs. I'm now down to 65-68kg because I'm vain. I started losing weight during my fourth year in HS.

40. CR time is the best time for me to reflect about the wonders and hardships of life. I <3 CR TIME!

41. I got my first cellphone shortly after the start of my 1st year of college. I feel proud of how I survived high school without a phone. Well, it was because my mom suspects that I will only court girls if I have my own phone AHOHOHO.

42. I still dream of having super powers. I think I'd choose something that most people would not answer the question of which super power they would want to have: Adaptability. Partly because I think I already have this power, and partly because this is something most people lack the knowledge of. I believe I adapt pretty well with life in general.

43. My best definition of myself is "too much everything but never quite the something". I enjoy and have tried a lot of things. I've been a varsity player and competed with a couple of sports, badminton, volleyball, Judo (PE class). I also tried boxing. I kinda sing. I was an academic achiever. I loved cooking. I attended workshops. I've seriously tried a lot but before I ever truly excelled in something, I quit.

44. Playing video games has been my hobby for the longest time. I kind of lost it nowadays though, I feel more matured. I was into the Final Fantasy series, Harvest Moon for PS1 and other RPGs. I've also tried a lot of online games, probably over 20 now. The online game I played the longest is Pirate King Online, and my most favorite console game is Legends of Mana. I can play this game over and over and over.

45. I wanna live somewhere abroad that's not a tourist hot spot. Probably places like Ireland or Monaco or something. Not just visit, but actually live there for good.

46. I play the lottery as much as I can. I believe in luck. I also believe in positive thinking that's why people will always hear from me that the lottery ticket I have is the grand prize winner. It never was.

47. I hate people with dirty mouth. I hate people with short temper.

48. I bug people a lot. Specially those with short tempers.

49. I have bestfriend issues! I'm scared to label my friends because I fear inside me that I am not to them what they are to me. In that same sense, I'm also what Filipinos call torpe. I'm scared of rejection.

50. There was a time in high school where I had pooping fest for a week in school but I didn't know why. I later figured out that it was because my mom puts too much coffee mate in my coffee. I no longer drink coffee or milk in the morning. Can't believe I'm putting this here.

51. My favorite snack is either Ritz or Combos, but I don't see Ritz in the market anymore so, yey Combos!

52. I was a fast runner. We play Agawan Base everyday in school during elementary. I also love Patintero

53. My immortal song is Dancing in the Moonlight though I never memorized it

54. If I could be any one person for a day, I'd be Prince Harry and learn how a prince with not much pressure handles his life. I've just always considered Harry luckier to be the younger prince.

55. My favorite villain is Dr. Doofenshmirtz from Phineas and Ferb

56. That's So Raven is my favorite series ever. Chelsea there is my crush :)) It used to be my nightly companion during my quest to losing weight before entering college. Along it was Hannah Montanna, Suite Life of Zac and Cody, Suite Life on Deck, Lizzy McGuire, and Sonny With a Chance.

57. I prefer Disney over Nickelodeon.

58. I loved and enjoyed the High School Musical series. It has been with me through high school along with the dream of starring in a play or any theater shit. Just Wanna Be With You is my favorite song from the franchise.

59. My favorite actors are Keanu Reeves, Johnny Depp, or Brad Pitt. For actresses they are probably Anne Hathaway, Betty White, Sandra Bullock and Helena Bonham Carter.

60. My celebrity crushes though are Angelina Jolie, Monica Bellucci, Heather Morris, and Milla Jovovich.

61. For me, the most handsome man, or in a less gay way of putting it, the man I would want to look like if I can choose who to look like would be David Beckham. Or Brad Pitt because he scored my number 1 crush, Jolie.

62. If life is a profession, I'd be it's professional. You'll never see me fretting over problems. I might tell you stories but they're never complaints. I complain a lot about irrelevant stuff though like possibly why the butterfly landed on the rafflesia instead of the kalachuchi.

63. We had a lot of snake pets before. Garter snakes mainly, but a few Boas as well. One of the Boas was given to Intramuros because she was already too big. Her name is Sawastika, I don't know if she's still there though.

64. A lot of people think I'm gay. I admit I'm not rough, but I most definitely am not gay. Well I used to be really soft though =)) I ballet in the living room when I was a kid, and my mom would dress me up with gowns and shit. See, not my fault!

65. My mom is my greatest vanity influence. Doesn't let me off without applying lotion, sunblock, and all that.

66. I love black. It goes with every other color. White is second. I'm that easy, since black and white are the default colors, you can just say that I hate complicating life.

67.  I want to learn how to play a musical instruments. We always joke about the fact that the only instrument I can play is the recorder. Whenever we think of putting up a band, I always suggest my recorder skills to be put to use.

68. I laugh at my own jokes a lot. Maybe if you laugh whenever I say a joke, it's more of because I'm laughing rather than the joke being actually funny.

69. I am very hairy. I didn't notice it until my high school classmates noticed it. I seriously don't know where they came from.

70. I fainted after my circumcision.

71. If I can be a master of one weapon, I'd choose the spear. Rawr! The extra distance just seem more advantageous.

72. Despite my love for the Spear, I always choose to be the healer in almost every online game. I love playing the vital role. Besides, I consider myself good at any game I play and healers have to be good, otherwise your party will die. I kind of also hate the feeling of needing to depend on someone so I choose to be the one who people depend on.

73. I love wearing shorts. I prefer them over pants.

74. The part of myself that I love most is probably my legs. I don't know why but they never got fat. I also love the fact that they look rather firm. Although it's covered with an awful lot of hair. People take note of my eyes a lot though. One of my favorite teachers in high school even calls me Killer Eyes. I also like how my nose isn't really that pointy, but taller than typical Filipino noses.

75. I have chopsuey blood. My father is half Chinese, quarter Spanish and a quarter American. My mom on the other hand is mainly Filipino with a little bit of Chinese blood. I don't claim to be of any other nationality aside from Filipino though. Just because you have foreign blood doesn't mean you're that kind of blood. For most people, you are born in this country therefore you are a Filipino. I detest being called Chinese just cause my lolo is Chinese.

76. I have a thing for bad girls.

77. I'm most attracted to girls with either really long hair or really short hair.

76. I hate cakes! They're just too heavy to be dessert. Chocolate Mousse from Red Ribbon is fine though because it hardly has breading. As long as it's not over 60% bread then I'm fine with it.

77. Chocolates are my kind of sweets. I love Kitkat White, Mars, and Reese's

78. If I am to be reincarnated, I wanna be a tree. They serve a purposeful life; they give air! And I love trees. I always wanted a tree house. I'll make a tree house for my kids when I grow up :D

79. I can't stand people who are just too loud. I find myself as a man of few words. I love it when people don't talk to me much.

80. I think I may have attachment issues. It's hard for me to get attached. In fact, I want to live-in with my girlfriend first before getting married. I know it's unfair for the girl specially for Filipinas, what with their reserved outlook, but I think the best way to actually know people is to live with them first.

81. I want my first child to be a Kuya, then I can have the next kids, how many they may be, be whatever gender. I'm just more comfortable knowing there's a Kuya with my family. I don't have one, and I feel like I'm losing a lot. If my first child happens to be a girl, I'll greatly consider having her as the only child.

82. I want to be married at the age of 21 or 23. I don't know why I don't feel like being married at 22 :)) I want to start a family early because in my case, my father and I have almost nothing in common. I'm not yet even done with college and he's already a senior citizen! Our generation is just too far apart to actually enjoy the same things. I don't want that to happen with my kids.

83. I love it when it rains (by Bruno Mars @-) ). Everything just quiets down. People outside shut up, you don't hear the television, and you smell the Earth. I don't know if that's a good thing though.

84. I think I'd survive a zombie apocalypse. I have to do a lot of cardio workout though and practice running a lot.

85. I have a lot of things I'm keeping as a secret. I feel thrilled by having to hide some things even though I'm certain that only quite a number of people are actually interested. I do tell people though.

86. I only learned to whistle very recently

87. I can kick really strong. If ever I become one of those people who fight a lot, I'd be a kicker. Weird cause I actually went boxing, and never got kicking trainings.

88. My friends (Joy and Alfons) and I often ask each other if we consider ourselves good looking. I would always say "sometimes". There actually are times when I think my self handsome :)) After washing my face, for example. Never when I'm outside though. WHY?

89.  I think a lot. I easily judge people just by looking at them. With just a look, I've already thought out what kind of life a person is living, and whether he or she is good or bad. I'm not saying I'm always right, but I'm a good judge of character. And I don't find this wrong. It is very natural for people to judge other people. I think it goes wrong when you explicitly tell out loud your judgment of a certain person and it turns out to be wrong.

90. Because I rarely hate, whenever I do, it sticks. I don't hate just cause. If I feel hate towards something it can never be because of shallow reasons. You probably really suck or just did something super awful.

91. Peaceful sleep is the best reward for anyone to get. I know that when we get older, we will hardly have time for a peaceful sleep. Maybe even a nap will be hard to get.

92. I can fall for girls who are not really lookers. It would be a lie if I say that I don't care about looks though. I do, it's what attracts two people. What's inside makes you wanna try things out. Love is what makes you wanna stay. There are differences, timing, and other restrictions which negate love though.

93. I have claustrophobia.

94. You know that one dream that you have repeatedly? Mine is being chased by a rolling boulder. The only interpretation I can give it is pressure related. I think I'm pressured by time and a lot of other things in general. The fact that the only reason for me to be running forward is because there is a fat boulder wanting to squash me flat. In that dream, I have no other way but forward. Seems like a good thing but where's the freedom there?

95. I have little regards for school. I don't think it's a proper measure of intelligence. I'm not saying this simply because I don't get high enough grades. I just think that everyone starts out dumb and only get intelligent upon being hardworking enough to study. What we know only goes as far as what we actually try to learn. I therefore conclude that the reason why I don't get A's is because I'm lazy.

96. Iced Tea = Good Vibes, Bottomless Iced Tea = Heaven.

97. I love sitting on the floor. I was once scolded by my teacher in high school because I was sitting on the floor during class. She told me that I should attend SPED. I didn't take it seriously though. I love that teacher, and even though she was actually angry, I just can't feel intimidated.

98. It took around 6 hours till this number and I honestly am out of words about myself.

99. I don't fart in public. I never admit to have farted in public.. because I never do! >:)

100. Of course I'm trying to think about something nice for my finale. Oh! Lucky by Britney Spears is the first non-nursery rhyme I have ever memorized. Next was Cry by Mandy Moore. I love Mandy Moore! I love A Walk to Remember. The story line was so soft and the transitions were very clear. It was sad, but I didn't cry. I never cry with movies. In fact, I cannot remember the last time I cried. Mostly it would be because of my family.

FINALLY DONE! 2am. So sleepeh! Might have a lot of grammatical errors. Might try to proofread tomorrow :D

The first time I got something not uncertain

Dirty, feeling cool, rebel, and hopefully not as far as Satanista. These are the labels the society gives to people with tattoos. Some of my friends, and all my blockmates I think, already know that I am inked. I did not just use the word inked. Ew Badass =)). Well first, I'm definitely not a satanist or anti-christ. Don't you even dare think about giving me that Leviticus verse saying body prints are a sin! Take note that along those verses are words that state how eating shrimp and other non-fishes like clams and such are also evil. Non-fishes = #imbentoword. Yuck sobrang jeje I'm using hashtags outside twitter. Thanks Mr. Ray Aguas for the Leviticus lesson. Second, it's not dirty. I'll tell you what's dirty, shit is. Things with Kuya Germs! Unless people somehow manage to innovate poop to be used as inks then tattoo might be dirty!  Another thing that's dirty is when you slowly take your clothes off while dancing. 


Okay maybe I'd agree with people who thinks getting a tattoo is a means for people to feel better about themselves, to feel cool. Honestly, I won't get one if I didn't think it was cool in the first place. Plus, I'm a bit of a masochist so I loved the thrill of the needle stabbing my upper spine to death. I think the only bragging right you get with the tattoo is the fact that you endured. The pain was no joke, but getting something you sincerely want will definitely be something to hold on to through out the process.

Maybe not all would agree, but in my part, it is also a form of rebellion. My parents, most especially my mom, are very strict. My mom is what people would call the Tiger Mom. No this, no that. Get below 90 in exams, grounded. Poor baby boy blue, always grounded, and was never allowed to go outside the house. Okay, enough self-pity. Good thing my mom is in hibernation recently because my grades are fucked up. For all of you to know, I did ask permission to get a tattoo, but my mom didn't allow me to. And this is the most rebel I can get. My father's cool with it though, he even paid for it. Papa actually wants one for himself for the longest time but he's afraid of the pain *ehem* wuss. No, my father doesn't even know how to turn the monitor on so I'm safe. 

More than the rebellion and the love for the art, the reason why I actually had a tattoo is to feel something permanent in me. People die, my pet Buchingching recently died, promises break, opinions vary, friends stray, your hobbies change. I know, diamonds are forever, but people steal diamonds, so you can lose them. Try to steal the chunk of my spine with the tattoo, you cannibal! But seriously, the meaning behind my tattoo is actually the representation of my parents. Dragon and Tiger are the Chinese horoscopes of my father and mother respectively. See, my mom literally is the tiger mom. I had it placed on my back because it makes me think that whatever happens, they both always got my back no matter what, and I got theirs. The flame above represents the fact that though they are divorced, nobody can really say that we are a broken family. Ours is the first family you'll ever hear where in the parents aren't actually together, but can still live in the same house as friends, individually as a mother and as a father to their kids without being quite the couple. Hopefully they don't get back together though or else I'll vomit the inks of my tattoo out.

Unfortunately, and I regret to say that, I got this design from Google -fcking- Images. You may now insert the grossed out Yao Ming meme here and start giving me the stone to death that I deserve. But maybe this is something else that I will always remember when I grow up. That I was once a kid who relied on Google for something that is supposed to be a hard decision. My exact words on my search box were "Tiger and Dragon tattoo" HAHA :| I'm ashamed. In my defense, I had stuff altered! The dragon is more escalated in my tattoo as requested by my father to be more dominant than my mom; parang bata :)). There are other alterations but I won't share it to anyone just yet. Just to make it more personal. Maybe the other alteration, I'll share it to my wife first. Now this post shall end because I have to be on a quest to find that wife.

Sweeter than the sixteenth

What is it with the 18th birthday really that makes it so important as to be a milestone for most people? FYI, I turned 18 today that's why I felt the need to ask this question. This post won't be a thesis-like shit that starts with questions and will answer itself later on, guys. I really don't know so please, if you do, tell me. 


As I woke up on my 18th birthday, I honestly didn't feel anything at all, well aside from still being sleepy. Truth be told, I was kind of expecting a zap or a magic that would make me feel more matured, responsible, and adult. Unfortunately, for me, I still am childish and will always be, hope not, my family's Bboy (Baby boy).


Before going any further, let me tell you first that I'm not sadist! I only have issues with birthdays when I'm the one celebrating it, but I'm happy for those who're happy celebrating theirs, heck invite me to your party and I'll try to come :D. Going back, I blame this general apathy I have for birthdays to my upbringing. Unlike most kids, I never had the privilege of having birthdays worth remembering. Not that I actually remember a lot of memories to begin with, but still I long to have a birthday that will overpower my forgetfulness and give me something to reminisce about the next year I celebrate another one. Actually, we don't celebrate birthdays that much in my family. Ours are limited to serving a lot of food whether at home or out. If we choose to stay home, you can never remove from the list of food to be served the perpetual pancit which will grant the celebrant immortality. Cake isn't a staple birthday food in our menu, btw. I also don't receive gifts in general; the last gift I remember to have received from my parents is a beyblade and when were beyblades a trend; and this wasn't even for my birthday. We don't even have a camera (contrary to my vanity) to capture and treasure another year of our joyous lives here in the humbling world we call Earth. I say, *hashtag*tanginabro to all that. 


Of course it's different if we choose to eat out. For one, my father doesn't feel the need to come. His words would be in the line of "Alam mo naman ako, anak, old-pashon" which means he'd rather stay home or "matrapik, balentayns. Atsaka punuan sa restoran". I actually don't care because I wasn't in good terms with my father then. Ooooh, come to think of it I can remember a birthday celebration of mine! I was with my mom, my cousin, and my mom's bestfriend in this really bad expensive restaurant. I only remember it because first, the rest of my family chose to stay home instead of celebrating with me, and second, the food is so bad and expensive that the only way I thought of making it worth while was to abuse the bottomless refills. Ladies and gentlemen, that was the day when Bad Restaurant in Libis considered removing bottomless options in their menu. I literally drained their iced tea dispenser. 


Add to these reasons my escalating vanity which now doesn't only cover my face, but crawled its way even to my body. I used to be really fat you know, but I got thinner, thank you, and birthdays (no birthday doesn't) leave you with extra pounds. 


Anyways, since I don't have anything to make my birthdays special, I decided to make this one a little different. I started this blog AHOHOHO! Of course we'll still eat out and all that shit I stated above. What, we're "old pashon". This time though, my father and sister will come. 


Oh you know what? I've been into Lottery even before, and today I invested 50PHP in it again, and for the first time, I wasn't able to think about whether the clerk would not allow me to buy a ticket because of my age, but of course, it cannot be because of my age anymore. I feel such a badass for buying lottery tickets before I was 18. fvk thee police tindera ng tiket.